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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26782618">Longing for your love kuroken</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yams_is_bby/pseuds/Yams_is_bby'>Yams_is_bby</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Angst and Tragedy, I Blame Tumblr, I Tried, I'm Bad At Summaries, I'm Bad At Tagging, I'm Sorry, M/M, Sad, Sad Ending</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 05:20:48</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,169</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26782618</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yams_is_bby/pseuds/Yams_is_bby</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Kuroo is questioning if Kenma really loves him.<br/>He wishes he could know, but it's just so hard he doesn't know how much more he can take..</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Hinata Shouyou/Kozume Kenma, Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>28</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Longing for your love kuroken</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>To kenma the only important things are Hinata Shoyou from Karasuno and his video games..I, his boyfriend isn't as important as those things.</p><p>I've already engraved it in me.</p><p> Not even as his best friend was I as important. Yet I can never leave him, my love for him goes above it all and ignores all the flaws. </p><p>He..he loves me. Why would he be with me if he doesn't? </p><p>Why..</p><p>                                        ---------------<br/>
"Kenma!" Yelled out a familiar ginger haired boy </p><p>Kenma smiled light heartedly and responded to his call "Hello Shoyou" </p><p>Kuroo noticed how the two greeted and had but only a smile on his face. After a bit he had to break it up.</p><p>"Kenma come on!~" Kuroo called out as the rest of their team was walking to the court<br/>
"I'm coming." He replied in a different tone than from before, kuroo was used to it though.</p><p>"See you later Shoyou" he waved as Hinata said his goodbye as well and left. </p><p>"So kenma-"</p><p>"I'm playing video games don't talk to me right now.." he mumbled with a focused and serious look</p><p>"Oh- haha..you're right my bad sorry" Kuroo replied in his usual tone, a bit off, but no one cared to notice. </p><p>They soon started the practice match</p><p>Karasuno won by 3 points. Then our team of Nekoma swore of beating them next time, not that we're enemies we just love competing with each other.</p><p>While they were walking home Kuroo decided to ask Kenma on a date.</p><p>"Hey, wanna go on a date today?" He asked the shorter boy with a smirk </p><p>"Can't. I'm going out with Shoyou today." He mumbled with an unbothered expression as he was focused on his phone playing another game probably, not that Kuroo minded..</p><p>"Sooo uhm..when are you free?~" He asked with a smile </p><p>"Kuroo. I don't know.." he snapped irritably<br/>
"Can we just hurry home?" He added as he looked into Kuroo's eyes with a frustrated look<br/>
"Yeah..okay" He nodded as the smile faded off his face.</p><p>"See you kenma" He smiled as he waved at the boy going into his house barely acknowledging  Kuroo's presence.</p><p>"Bye" he replied as he went inside and that's how the day with his boyfriend ended.</p><p>Kuroo laid on his bed and stared at the ceiling. He didn't tell anyone, but he found out about a month ago that he had clinical depression. </p><p>It wouldn't matter to his team anyways, he was still the same Kuroo..</p><p>Kenma would stay the same..</p><p>He just didn't matter to anyone and he was okay with that.</p><p>His thoughts were becoming darker so he decided to scroll through Instagram to distract himself from his mind.</p><p>"A new post from Hinata huh" he thought to himself as he paused before liking it.</p><p>He saw kenma with a smile on his face, no serious face, no irritation. No video games, just  him and Hinata having a good time. </p><p>The way he looked at the ginger headed boy with such care..</p><p>Kuroo couldn't help, but to let out an aching sob. </p><p>His phone was now splattered with tears that were once yearning to come out, and now are pouring down Kuroo's face uncontrollably.</p><p>He knew...deep down inside that Kenma doesn't love him, maybe once, or maybe never at all. </p><p>Who would love a fool like himself?<br/>
He had been struggling within himself for so long, wondering if he was ever good enough for Kenma. Or if it was his fault that their relationship was going downhill.</p><p> He finally understood that maybe it was his fault..maybe he wasn't good enough and that's why Kenma favors everyone except for him. </p><p>Maybe..maybe it was better if he broke up with Kenma and just let him be with Hinata.</p><p>"Tomorrow" he thought "Tomorrow I'll put a smile on Kenma's face"<br/>
...<br/>
The next day was smooth in a sense it was all the usual Kenma still played his video games and ignored Kuroo, and Kuroo acted like everything was okay.</p><p>Then when they were walking home Kuroo decided it was time.</p><p>"H..Hey Kenma.." He said out loud sheepishly, a and kenma replied with a confused look at Kuroo.</p><p>"I..I think we should..uhm" </p><p>"What is it?" </p><p>"I think we should break up" He finally stated</p><p>"H-Huh?.." Kenma retorted with a shocked look</p><p>"I'm sorry KenKen" he smiled softly as he pat his head and left him there of shock.</p><p>As he turned the corner he continued to walk limply as he began to sob uncontrollably..</p><p>He didn't know what to do next..</p><p>"Kenma was probably running to Hinata and they're hanging out like always" Kuroo thought with a painful smile</p><p>When he reached home he threw himself on the bed as his pillow soaked in all his tears</p><p>"I-I can't do this anymore!! I tried..I tried so hard..! WHY ME?!" He broke down clenching onto his pillow tightly.</p><p>He couldn't bear living like this any longer, all the hurt..all his thoughts it wouldn't let him breath.</p><p>He just wanted happiness, why couldn't he have that? Why couldn't he have a boyfriend who loved him? Or people who cared about him..</p><p>Did he deserve any of those things? Is God punishing him?</p><p>He looked at his closet.</p><p>The noose he thought..</p><p>The thing that's been there since last year. No one knows, but he tried to take his life last year.</p><p>Bokuto was the only one who knew after all he was the one who talked him out of it.</p><p>But..Bokuto wasn't here now. It was just him. He walked slowly to the closet as he grabbed the rope and tied it to something sturdy and began to put it on his neck.</p><p>He stood on the chair he had taken and kicked it away.</p><p>His instincts had begun to kick in, but he stopped himself with all his might..</p><p>As he took his last breaths he thought of all the people he loved, the people he trusted..</p><p>Kenma..</p><p>The person whom he loved so very much with his life, someone he didn't deserve. He just Hope's Hinata will love and care for him as he did.</p><p>Bokuto..</p><p>His best friend, the person who he trusted the most. The person who always made him laugh every time he would crack a joke. What would he think if he saw him giving his life away like this?</p><p>Yaku..</p><p>Such a good teammate and friend, he'll make such a great captain.</p><p>Akaashi..</p><p>As much as he was always kept to himself he knew he has a great heart. He'll help Bokuto heal just fine..I'm glad they're happy together I hope it lasts</p><p>All his other teammates..he'll miss them..</p><p>His mother..she may never always be there, but he loves her..she'll be fine.</p><p>Before he could think of anyone else he took his last breath.</p><p>"Goodbye.." he thought, then went limp.<br/>
.<br/>
.<br/>
.<br/>
.</p><p>"KUROO NO!! NO PLEASE COME BACK TO ME NO...PLEASE PLEASE KUROO!!!"</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hello thanks if you read this crappy story lmao<br/>It took me 2 days to write, and I tried to keep a 1k word limit! This is my first story that I'm publishing on ao3 I should get the hang of it as I continue to post on here hopefully!<br/>Anyways thanks again for those who read this story :)<br/>Inspired basically by whumptober 2020 on tumblr</p></blockquote></div></div>
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